A flashback to "Searching for the President in Tehran: A prelude"

The genesis of mathematical creation is a problem which should intensely interest the psychologists. It is the activity in which the human mind seems to take least from the outside world. But surprisingly, it is the most successful way to discover the phenomenon which it has used least, i.e the outside world. (Henri Poincare, 1854-1912)


Many times and still, I have thought about that particular day, a moment in the history, we, I mean human beings, have realized how to use our thumb. Without any doubt, that was one of the most crucial discoveries of mankind in the history. We had come down from the trees and started making tools and means which ended at some points to wheels, swords, cultures, porn movies and finally nuclear energy.

Maybe my examples seem to be wired but I am the son of my time. Nothing more, nothing less...At most, if I am successful, I can narrate my time...

I am sure it was the history, the whole sequences of parallel time series in time-space coordinate, which made me to do something or confront with something or to be something at a particular time...

I, the son of my time, have different faces...

One face is a mathematical modeler...Kind of bullshiter...I am sorry for my language, but I am absolutely right...we are trying to model something that we still don't know what it is....Predicting the behavior of an unknown concept that we haven't realize what it is....Is it not a lie? But who cares? We get paid for it....

That's why we have many things...Airplanes, fancy cars, drugs, stock markets, wars and for instance computers...

I am using computers...

For me computers are like the mirrors for the ones who are truly using them...Kind of post modern dogs....I observed many synchronization between computers and human behaviors...

Because I had realized, long ago (is it important long ago or just a second ago? Memories have no dimension in time...They are just memories, a series of timeless images from the myths, dreams or past lives) that I still haven't been sure what should I model, I've started searching...Like a one trying to full a bucket with a hole...but I am still searching....I have been looking around for a long time....Sometimes in my computer, sometimes outside my computer....Sometimes in myself, sometimes out of myself....

But I still don't know what should I model. Moreover, I am forgetting many things related to my past:

As a child when did I first hear about puzzles? And from whom?

I still can't retrieve....But, sometimes hopelessly, I am keeping on observing....


A comment by "Searching for the President in Tehran":
From the time that my wife has left me, I am absolutely lonely...We lived the all our life together up to the time, some years ago, when her picture had felt down from the wall. I died and she left me alone....We didn't have any child but we were so happy with each other....Now, it is just me and bunch of memories which are fading from my mind gradually....A man, when he doesn't have a company, has to talk with himself or stay silence some where in a park or a pub and look at the people...I have chosen the second one, but people are passing without any attention...I am in between them but my mind is somewhere else....I am observing something but receiving something else....I have been always like that....I don't know anyone who is lazier, sillier, or more inconsiderate than me....I want always to be somewhere else....I can't get settled somewhere, just like gypsies....It is not dependent to my age or circumstances....I think it was a fundamental issue in my life and now in my death....For instance I don't know my exact name or my relatives....I don't know what I have or what I don't have....I have never looked at a mirror....So I am the one whom observed just by the others....The ones who can bother, turn to me and see who I am....Me, The one who still doesn't know many things....

But who cares?....I am alone and will be alone for ages, although I am dead....