The genesis of mathematical creation is a problem which should intensely interest the psychologists. It is the activity in which the human mind seems to take least from the outside world. But surprisingly, it is the most successful way to discover the phenomenon which it has used least, i.e the outside world. (Henri Poincare, 1854-1912)
Many times and still, I have thought about that particular day, a moment in the history, we, I mean human beings, have realized how to use our thumb. Without any doubt, that was one of the most crucial discoveries of mankind in the history. We had come down from the trees and started making tools and means which ended at some points to wheels, swords, cultures, porn movies and finally nuclear energy.
Maybe my examples seem to be wired but I am the son of my time. Nothing more, nothing less...At most, if I am successful, I can narrate my time...
I am sure it was the history, the whole sequences of parallel time series in time-space coordinate, which made me to do something or confront with something or to be something at a particular time...
I, the son of my time, have different faces...
One face is a mathematical modeler...Kind of bullshiter...I am sorry for my language, but I am absolutely right...we are trying to model something that we still don't know what it is....Predicting the behavior of an unknown concept that we haven't realize what it is....Is it not a lie? But who cares? We get paid for it....
That's why we have many things...Airplanes, fancy cars, drugs, stock markets, wars and for instance computers...
I am using computers...
For me computers are like the mirrors for the ones who are truly using them...Kind of post modern dogs....I observed many synchronization between computers and human behaviors...
Because I had realized, long ago (is it important long ago or just a second ago? Memories have no dimension in time...They are just memories, a series of timeless images from the myths, dreams or past lives) that I still haven't been sure what should I model, I've started searching...Like a one trying to full a bucket with a hole...but I am still searching....I have been looking around for a long time....Sometimes in my computer, sometimes outside my computer....Sometimes in myself, sometimes out of myself....
But I still don't know what should I model. Moreover, I am forgetting many things related to my past:
As a child when did I first hear about puzzles? And from whom?
I still can't retrieve....But, sometimes hopelessly, I am keeping on observing....
A comment by "Searching for the President in Tehran":
From the time that my wife has left me, I am absolutely lonely...We lived the all our life together up to the time, some years ago, when her picture had felt down from the wall. I died and she left me alone....We didn't have any child but we were so happy with each other....Now, it is just me and bunch of memories which are fading from my mind gradually....A man, when he doesn't have a company, has to talk with himself or stay silence some where in a park or a pub and look at the people...I have chosen the second one, but people are passing without any attention...I am in between them but my mind is somewhere else....I am observing something but receiving something else....I have been always like that....I don't know anyone who is lazier, sillier, or more inconsiderate than me....I want always to be somewhere else....I can't get settled somewhere, just like gypsies....It is not dependent to my age or circumstances....I think it was a fundamental issue in my life and now in my death....For instance I don't know my exact name or my relatives....I don't know what I have or what I don't have....I have never looked at a mirror....So I am the one whom observed just by the others....The ones who can bother, turn to me and see who I am....Me, The one who still doesn't know many things....
But who cares?....I am alone and will be alone for ages, although I am dead....
Sunday 9 December 2007
The message sent to "Searching for the President in Tehran"
She wouldn't believe
This pencil has
A magical eraser
She said I was a silly moo
She said I was a liar too
She dared me prove that it was true
And so what could I do-
I erased her
(Shel Silverstein, 1932-1999)
1.
Hi dear "Searching for the President in Tehran"
How are you? Have you catched up on replying to all the messages you had to reply whilst you were in "Searching for the President in Tehran"? Are you still living in "Searching for the President in Tehran" or are you relaxing in paradise?
Well I basically write to say I'm leaving "Drinking Coffee in Paris", kind of saying goodbye.. (though we can always keep in touch by internet is not the same feeling as knowing you're on the other side of the pond). I'm flying back home tomorrow. I don't regret of having done this experience. Sometimes we can plan things but "Drinking coffee in Paris" is one of those shaky terrains where we can find too many surprises. I came here not to teach Spanish as I knew from the beginning but to try to find "Drinking Coffee in Paris", to bring about closure in some areas of my life and I have done that.
I like "Drinking Coffee in Paris", it will always be beautiful, but for different reasons I didn't enjoy so much living like this. I will go back to "Being a mom in Mexico" and start there without dwelling too much, because I have closed a cycle and I'm ready to begin again, with my mind cleared and calmed.
Well darling, take care. Wish you the best. Do you celebrate Christmas in "Searching for the President in Tehran"?? (guess not... Christianism is not very welcome in "Searching for the President in Tehran"...) Anyway send you a big big hug and my best wishes for the end of this year and for starting 2008.
Smooches!!
Being a mom in Mexico
2.
Life is a trip which you neither know the destination nor the path. You just travel into it and get wondered. A scientist is nothing more than a wondering addict traveller (Bible of "Searching for the President in Tehran", book 30: The messages)
Hey "Being a mom in Mexico"
Hola, ketal?
Well, technically I am living in "Searching for the President in Tehran" but I do have my return flights to the paradise every now and then.
My dear little "Being a mom in Mexico", that was a good stuff that you felt having enough balls to give a try to "Drinking Coffee in Paris". I am proud of you. I am also happy that you closed the circle and want to start from sketch....It is such a freedom, isn't it? I just love it....
It doesn't make any difference where we are or what we are doing. Fuck the nonsense. The important stuff is that we are friends forever, either we are in touch or not....
Internet is always there and maybe other occasions that we might see each other again. So I am not saying you goodbye: Just see you later
Peace,
Searching for the President in Tehran
P.S. I wish you a warm cosy Christmas with your family and friends in sexy "Being a mom in Mexico"....Kisses
This pencil has
A magical eraser
She said I was a silly moo
She said I was a liar too
She dared me prove that it was true
And so what could I do-
I erased her
(Shel Silverstein, 1932-1999)
1.
Hi dear "Searching for the President in Tehran"
How are you? Have you catched up on replying to all the messages you had to reply whilst you were in "Searching for the President in Tehran"? Are you still living in "Searching for the President in Tehran" or are you relaxing in paradise?
Well I basically write to say I'm leaving "Drinking Coffee in Paris", kind of saying goodbye.. (though we can always keep in touch by internet is not the same feeling as knowing you're on the other side of the pond). I'm flying back home tomorrow. I don't regret of having done this experience. Sometimes we can plan things but "Drinking coffee in Paris" is one of those shaky terrains where we can find too many surprises. I came here not to teach Spanish as I knew from the beginning but to try to find "Drinking Coffee in Paris", to bring about closure in some areas of my life and I have done that.
I like "Drinking Coffee in Paris", it will always be beautiful, but for different reasons I didn't enjoy so much living like this. I will go back to "Being a mom in Mexico" and start there without dwelling too much, because I have closed a cycle and I'm ready to begin again, with my mind cleared and calmed.
Well darling, take care. Wish you the best. Do you celebrate Christmas in "Searching for the President in Tehran"?? (guess not... Christianism is not very welcome in "Searching for the President in Tehran"...) Anyway send you a big big hug and my best wishes for the end of this year and for starting 2008.
Smooches!!
Being a mom in Mexico
2.
Life is a trip which you neither know the destination nor the path. You just travel into it and get wondered. A scientist is nothing more than a wondering addict traveller (Bible of "Searching for the President in Tehran", book 30: The messages)
Hey "Being a mom in Mexico"
Hola, ketal?
Well, technically I am living in "Searching for the President in Tehran" but I do have my return flights to the paradise every now and then.
My dear little "Being a mom in Mexico", that was a good stuff that you felt having enough balls to give a try to "Drinking Coffee in Paris". I am proud of you. I am also happy that you closed the circle and want to start from sketch....It is such a freedom, isn't it? I just love it....
It doesn't make any difference where we are or what we are doing. Fuck the nonsense. The important stuff is that we are friends forever, either we are in touch or not....
Internet is always there and maybe other occasions that we might see each other again. So I am not saying you goodbye: Just see you later
Peace,
Searching for the President in Tehran
P.S. I wish you a warm cosy Christmas with your family and friends in sexy "Being a mom in Mexico"....Kisses
Searching for The President in Tehran: A prelude
In the name of mankind, save Persians from enemies, drought and lie (Cyrus the great, 590-530 BC)
As a child when did I first hear about puzzles? And from whom?
I can remember something about my grandpa...
The old ex-nationalist guy used to solve crossword puzzles. I can remember him without socks or slippers whenever he was home. When he was happy he was trying to tease me by showing his dirty foot and I used to complain to my granny that grandpa is so dirty. In contrary, my granny was such a stylish woman. Regardless if she was home or not, she was always with high hills and make up.
Grandpa is now dead and granny is in the queue to have her funeral. Like Ellie’s granny…Her funeral was in Manchester yesterday. They burnt the body. I was not there, but a friend was. I haven’t met her yet, not only Ellie but also my friend. However, I know much about her; actually a little bit too much...
But how come? Just an incident: Everything has started with a single click and then a particular day: 13 October 1977, my birthday; although, it has happened on 4 December 2007. I know...It is a total mess. Maybe I write about it more while "Searching for the President in Tehran", maybe not...Let's see...
She just asked about the name of my story and I replied her: “Searching for the President in Tehran”.
She thinks I am bit wired. She said: If it was me I would call it “You are dangerous”. And she laughed.
She meant I am dangerous.
But, it doesn't solve my problem: I still can't recall... As a child when did I first hear about puzzles? And From whom?
A comment by "Searching for the President in Tehran":
I would like to draw your attention, with wonder and particular amusement, to a bunch of monks in Persepolis on the year 560 BC celebrating the first human right constitution by drinking wine and flirting with Babylonian girls arrived to be used as sex toys in Cyrus’s crowning ceremony.
As a child when did I first hear about puzzles? And from whom?
I can remember something about my grandpa...
The old ex-nationalist guy used to solve crossword puzzles. I can remember him without socks or slippers whenever he was home. When he was happy he was trying to tease me by showing his dirty foot and I used to complain to my granny that grandpa is so dirty. In contrary, my granny was such a stylish woman. Regardless if she was home or not, she was always with high hills and make up.
Grandpa is now dead and granny is in the queue to have her funeral. Like Ellie’s granny…Her funeral was in Manchester yesterday. They burnt the body. I was not there, but a friend was. I haven’t met her yet, not only Ellie but also my friend. However, I know much about her; actually a little bit too much...
But how come? Just an incident: Everything has started with a single click and then a particular day: 13 October 1977, my birthday; although, it has happened on 4 December 2007. I know...It is a total mess. Maybe I write about it more while "Searching for the President in Tehran", maybe not...Let's see...
She just asked about the name of my story and I replied her: “Searching for the President in Tehran”.
She thinks I am bit wired. She said: If it was me I would call it “You are dangerous”. And she laughed.
She meant I am dangerous.
But, it doesn't solve my problem: I still can't recall... As a child when did I first hear about puzzles? And From whom?
A comment by "Searching for the President in Tehran":
I would like to draw your attention, with wonder and particular amusement, to a bunch of monks in Persepolis on the year 560 BC celebrating the first human right constitution by drinking wine and flirting with Babylonian girls arrived to be used as sex toys in Cyrus’s crowning ceremony.
Saturday 1 December 2007
Annual accounting
Number of times that I've been born: 1. Number of my parents first landline in Iran: 21 85 9710. Number of shoes that I’ve bought this year: 3. Number of eggs that I’ve eaten in this year: 195. Number of times that I’ve hugged a baby in this year: 26. Number of houses that I’ve lived more than a week this year: 4. Number of nights that I’ve slept properly this year: 214. Number of the words that I’ve written this year: related to my research: 30456 unrelated to my research: 89932. Number of times that I’ve had sex this year: 15. Number of times that I’ve been really angry of myself in this year: 3. Number of times that I’ve been kind of angry of myself in this year: 145. Number of times that I’ve smiled to someone: 961. Number of times that I’ve received a smile: 789. Number of times that I’ve been in Toilet: 1460. Number of times that I’ve lied to people this year: Important stuff: 3. silly stuff: 387. Number of times that I’ve decided to do something really important and I have done it in this year: 2. I haven’t done: 4. Number of conferences that I’ve attended: 1. Number of conferences that I should have attended but haven’t: 2. Number of flies that I’ve killed this year: 75. Number of times that I’ve remembered something: 69754. Number of the times that I’ve forgotten something: 3675. Number of times that I’ve forgotten the name of my boss: 13. Number of times that I’ve stayed in the office till morning: 12. Number of times that I’ve laughed at people: 256. Number of times that I made other people laugh: 452. Number of times that I’ve said to myself “that’s enough”: 26. Number of housemates that I’ve had during this year: 17. Number of emails that I’ve received: Yahoo account: 2532. University account: 789. Number of emails that I’ve sent from both accounts: 635. Number of people that I’ve loved in this year: 1. Number of people that I’ve hated in this year: 2. Number of times that I’ve stayed in bed for the whole day: 2. Number of times that I’ve argued with my dad: face to face: 0. on the phone: 0. in my dream: 1. Number of times that I’ve forgiven someone: 31. Number of times that someone has forgiven me: 19. Number of books that I’ve read this year: related to my research: 1. Unrelated to my research: 26. Number of times that I’ve cancelled a meeting: 6. Number of times that I’ve heard “I love you”: 0. Number of times that I’ve told someone “I love you”: 1. Number of times that I’ve been in GYM: 49. Number of papers that I’ve published this year: 1. Number of papers that I’ve not published: 3. Number of hair that I’ve lost this year: 8593. Number of times that I’ve wanted to shout and I did: 4. I didn't: 26. Number of times that I met my second boss: 5. Number of kisses that I’ve given in this year: 658. I’ve received: 472. Number of cigarettes that I’ve smoked: 6935. Number of times that I’ve cried seriously: 2. Number of times that I’ve made someone cry (serious/unserious): 2. Number of gifts that I’ve bought for people in this year: 28. I’ve received: 19. Number of beers that I’ve drunk in this year: 452. Number of times that I’ve been really happy of myself: 2. A bit happy: 134. Number of dates that I’ve had: 3. Number of times that I’ve chassed a girl: 2. Number of times that a girl has chassed me: 1. Number of times that I’ve had Déjà vu: 15. Nightmares: 9. Number of times that I’ve felt really guilty: 5. Number of times that I’ve been really disappointed: 8. Number of times that I’ve taken sleeping pills: 1. Number of times that I’ve been really drunk: 7. Number of times that I’ve had breakdown: 1. Number of times that I’ve put a key into an electric socket: 1. Number of the times that I’ve died: 0.
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